Condom 101

C…Co…Con…Cond….Condo….Condom!! Yes, for most of us, this is how long it takes to say this one simple word. For one, saying it is almost sacrilege, and two, going to a chemist and asking for one gets you the suspicious stares of all those present there including the chemist who has a dirty “I know what you’re going to do” smirk on his face when he hands you the condom , that you’d prefer not to use one at all. But common; be a man, go there and ask for one without hesitation, be proud of what you’re doing, don’t let stares make you feel embarrassed and ruin the moment before pleasure. But before you do that, here’s some Condom Trivia.

What is a Condom?
A condom is a device that is worn during sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy and the spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) like HIV Aids, syphilis and gonorrhea. They are usually made of latex, and are rubber like. They are waterproof, elastic and durable, and also have many used besides the sexual one. They are available in types, flavors and sizes.

Is it available only for men?
While condoms are traditionally available only for men, female condoms are also available and is called diaphragm. They are less popular though.

How did the Condom come about?

Condoms have been around for a very long time. Like humans, the condom or the “condon” has also evolved. Ancient texts indicate the use of glans condoms which were worn only on the tips the penis. During the Renaissance, condoms were beginning to be made from Linen and the intestines and livers of sheep. Many religious groups protested its use as they considered it an obstruction to the natural process of pregnancy and birth. It was only in 1855 that the first rubber condom was made, after Charles Goodyear mastered the rubber vulcanization process in 1844. While the history of the Condom is not known or documented in India, statistics show that it is relatively a new concept, as in olden days, people had so many children that it is evident of the non-usage of the condom. Even now, not many are aware of the condom, its uses and availability.

Is the condom 100% safe?
No, the condom assures a success rate of only 98%. This means that there is a 2% chance of pregnancy or transmission of STDs. If you remember the TV sitcom FRIENDS, then you will remember that even though Ross used a condom with Rachel, she till became pregnant with Emma. So condoms don’t assure 100% guarantee.

What are the different types of Condoms? (Source: typesofcondoms.com)
Material – Latex, Polyurethane and Lambskin
Size- Snug, Regular and Extra large
Thickness – Thin, regular and extra-strength
Lubrication – Non-lubricated, regular lube, and extra lube
Texture – Rubbed, spiral , dots (the dotted condom defies the very logic of the condom, you might as well not use one) and designer condoms. Durex has now made a Jeans textured Condom, called Love in Jeans.
Colour- Green, orange, red, yellow, rainbow
Flavours – Mint, Chocolate, Strawberry, Coffee, Orange, Banana,
Shape – Rounded or nipple-ended
Spermicide - with or without

How should the condom be disposed?
Never flush down a condom after its use, it will just clog your drain. Wrap it in the cover it came with or in toilet paper and put it in the bin. A condom cannot be reused and don’t even try. In Mumbai, I once saw a condom put for drying along with clothes. Never ever do that. A condom is not re-usable.

What are the uses of the Condom?
Besides the traditional use of the condom, it can also be used for the following purposes:
1. You can blow it up and use it as balloons.
2. You can plug a hole in your bucket by inserting the condom. Considering it is stretchable, it can carry some water in it too, adding to the capacity of your bucket.
3. You can tie your hair with it.
4. You can stretch it and use it like a shower cap.
5. You can stuff it with stones and use it like a weapon in case of an emergency.
6. Finger puppets
7. You can put it on a mike and record sounds underwater.
8.  You can also store Water or any other samples in it.

What is the most innovative condom?
Many companies have come with innovative ideas of packaging the condom. There is one condom which had a vibrating ring for increased pleasure. There is another condom pack which has a male and female condom. The male condom cools down while the female condom heats up, giving ultimate pleasure to the partners. There is one condom which has the dolphin head printed on the tip. You can also get condoms with anybody’s face printed on the tip. Now days, a lot of designers are also making condoms more fashionable with innovative designs. You also get condoms that glow, so in case there are frequents power cuts at the place of action; you should use this so that it’s easy to locate your partner.

Are there any jokes on the condom?
1) Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled
    out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

    Lady 1: "What's that?"

    Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."

    Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"

    Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."

    The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a
    box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks
    what brand she prefers.

    Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."

2) Q: When should you wear condoms?
     A: At every conceivable occasion

3) Q: Why can’t pencils have babies?
    A: Because they have rubbers on their end

So now that you know everything about the condom, remember to keep one in with you. You never know when you’ll need it and where. But it’s always better to be prepared. Do keep in your valet in the same place where you keep your emergency money. Remember its better to be safe than sorry. Do share your thoughts with us on this.